未眠。

開學第一周 我就跟室友說十一點要準時熄燈 我要早睡早起身體好
結果啊 每次破壞約定的都是我 慚愧
害你們要開著燈睡 真是不好意思
然後每次都在將近破曉時分講我自己都不知道我講過的夢話吵醒你們

十二點跑去洗澡很好 沒有人會跟我搶有熱水器的那間 雖然我沒要洗熱水澡
還好我有記得水不要往頭上淋 不然一個小時之後頭髮應該都還沒有乾

話說明天的課從八點到五點 還很固執地在敲字的我是不是有點囂張叻
其實我每天都超想翹課的 如果可以自由自在像以前一樣翹課跑去有冷氣訓導主任又不會出現的圖書館睡覺 那該有多好

我今天絕對沒有喝咖啡
可是爲什麽情緒一直好不穩定 靜不下心來念書 連專心聽完一首歌都顯得極力不從心
已經不是眼淚掉下來就可輕易解決的事 那怎辦 如果連眼淚都惰于流出體外 又該怎辦
在我責任以內卻在我能力以外 要怎辦

我難過 也知道你的難過并不會比我的少 想到這裡我更難過
我明瞭 我連給予精神支持都做不到 更遑論解決問題
我很抱歉不能勇敢適時地給你一個擁抱 儘管我知道那有多么重要
僅是象徵式地輕輕地握住了你的手 對我來說 已是極限
并不是不想要給你安慰 而是我害怕 如果握住你的手力道再深一些
你就會感覺到 其實我的恐懼 不亞於你

不想說永遠不會忘記之類的話 那沒有意義是吧 因為我們都不知道 什麽是永遠
而不是我刻意想要記得 而是你們給予的 漠視的眼神 令人太難忘
難忘到 我很希望我忘得掉

終於有點倦意了 也許等下就會睡得著了？但愿。


I warned my roomates last week that we must switch off the lights at 11pm. On time!
and very embarassingly, everytime the one who break promise and stay late is me.
feel so remorseful for waking u guys up in the dawn by uttering something in sleep..

It was good to take bath in midnight. Nobody's going to queue outside the bathroom with water heater. and u can enjoy taking shower totally and in the slowest motion that u dont afraid somebody's waiting for the one and only bathroom with water heater.
and luckily i remembered not to wet my hair or else it wouldnt dry even after one hour i think.
(dont have hair dryer in my dorm)

How much i wish that i can play truant like in my sec sch's life.
It's all core subjects in this semester and i must say they are all true bores.
Hate malaysian studies the most. Icy cold in the lecture hall. Hard to fall sleep in the lecture sit. Super noisy in the class that i cant even do my own reading. It's an absolute bore. Anybody tell me how to sheer the boredom? Dont quite like idling my time away like this.
Perhaps playing truant is the best way.